Any Detective Claiming She Hasn’t Ventured Out on a Dark and Stormy Night Is Lying

Night’s dark. Storms happen.

No chance of a cab, so I’m subwayed and sardined ’midst the other sweatydrenched. I climb to the street, head to the match. Professional wrestling. Yes, really.

 

My client’s friend vanished; she suspects the husband, a beloved babyface. I need to get a look at him. I’m late. (See: dark, stormy.)

 

A called-in favor gets me on the floor. I push through the crowd, shimmysqueeze to my seat, savor the sightline.

 

The match has started. Suspect’s in a chokehold. The heel, in momentary triumph, looks up. Our eyes meet. Hold.

 

He knows something. He wants something. Someone.

 

So do I.

[100/tart noir/heel/eyes meeting]

Girl Reading a Letter at an Open Window

My neck hurts. How much longer does he need me to look at this letter? Are all painters this slow? I need a break. I want to look out the window, take in the horizon, but there is no horizon, not really, just more buildings blocking my view. Anyway, what view am I allowed other than this damn letter? My neck is stuck at tilt; here comes an unseasonably cool breeze. I am going to put this letter down and close the window. I am. I’m cold. My neck hurts. I’m done. I’m closing it right now. Right now, Jan.

 

[100/historical fiction/horizon/closing a window]

mayflymaynot

There was once a very anxious animal. She spent most of her time underground. She dreamed of places above ground, but the thought of leaving the safety of her hole made her jittery. So jittery, she suspected that she might be off her rocker.

The world was dangerous. Animals went out into it, then disappeared. 

 

But some disappeared just by staying in their holes.

 

The mayflies are dancing, she thought. If I want to see them, I have to leave the hole.

 

There isn’t much time.

 

She poked her nose out. Sniffed.

 

[100/fairy tale/rocker/dancing]

 

Summer Camp Snack

Banana boats—prepped and foiled—are placed carefully among the coals. The campers stand closer, to the fire, to each other, where the smells of the forest are replaced by campfire smoke and bug repellent and something else. Pheromones fly like moths to their flames. Long past these hot, sticky adolescent days, a whiff of Off! will be a turn-on, something that floats her boat.

[100/young adult fiction/banana/flying]

Flutterings

Getting to the college field station—an old cabin then—required a vehicle with some clearance, a key to the gate at the highway, a mile-long drive back a single-lane dirt road. From the station, it was a five-minute wooded walk to the lake. The middle of nowhere. Dark dark nights. Owls hooting on the regular. Whip-poor-wills calling and gorging on moths.

One night (inside), we heard strange sounds (outside), strange enough to get spooked. Laughed nervously. Picked up the phone’s receiver. No dial tone. Dead. Stopped laughing. Then heard the chains dragging against the cabin wall. 

 

[100/horror/gorge/making a phone call]

The Mystery on the Seventeenth Floor

We’re still pissed when we get to the address Nancy sent: a tall downtown office building. It’s Saturday, but the front door’s unlocked. I poke the elevator call button, glance at the position indicator, calculate wait time, exhale aggressively. Nancy’s told us nothing. Seems like Ned, up there with her now, is always in the loop, a permanent piece of her MO. Ned can be kind of a dick, if you ask me, and not the useful Sam Spade kind. The elevator arrives, we get in, it starts its ascent, then slams to a stop, between 7 and 8. WTF?

[100/mystery/permanent/riding in an elevator]

 

 

Rules to Nurture a Blossoming Romance or Assemble Furniture or Nurture a Blossoming Romance While Assembling Furniture*

Be prepared. Read instructions. Understanding the big picture will help you avoid mistakes. This job merits correct tools. Wrong tools can damage parts/make assembly unnecessarily difficult.

Start slow. Resist temptation to skip ahead/make assumptions. Rushing can compromise stability and safety. Be patient, focused.

 

Avoid common pitfalls. Containers can help you use the right parts at the right time.

 

Keep it safe. Use proper techniques to avoid strain/injury. Get help if necessary. Secure things.

Troubleshoot mistakes. Don’t panic. Try to identify the issue. You may need to disassemble a portion to correct the mistake. Professional assistance may save you significant time/frustration.

 

*Based on and heavily paraphrased from Taskrabbit’s “A Beginner’s Guide for Hassle-Free Furniture Assembly” video on YouTube.

[100/romance/merit/assembling furniture]